The Art of Sharing Lovers
by DeathByIrony
Summary: This mission was teaching me quite a bit: Xanxus got amusement from my misery, being stuck alone with Belphegor is pure torture, jealousy is no fun, and Bel looks really hot in drag.... God, now I feel like a pedophile. SqualoxBel
1. Chapter 1

Squalo sighed as he waited for Bel to finish changing in their hotel bathroom. For fucks sake, the kid had been in there for a good half hour getting ready for their ridiculous ass mission.

"Voiiii, brat, hurry the fuck up!" he yelled, still seated comfortably on the only bed in their room. Bel had insisted upon staying in one of the most expensive hotels in all of England. Xanxus had insisted that it was too expensive to pay for a room with two beds. Squalo had insisted he wasn't sleeping on the couch.

Of course, no one ever listened to him.

"Ushishishi, patience patience," Bel responded through the bathroom door.

Squalo let out an annoyed grunt and gracelessly flopped backwards onto the bed, causing the jacket of his Armani suit to ride up uncomfortably. He decided to pass the time by seething at the person who had gotten him into this: Xanxus.

Xanxus wanted information about a quickly growing mafia family, the leader of which happened to be a very wealthy Englishman named Christopher Roland, who had a great love for lavish parties and beautiful women. In fact, he was said to have very loose lips when it came to such women.

That was where Bel came in. Seeing as the Varia had no women in its higher-ups and Bel didn't have much of a problem with cross-dressing, seduction, or information retrieval, he was naturally the best choice (not to mention the fact that his appearance was already very feminine, though no one would ever say that to his face).

So why was Squalo there?

Xanxus had told (more like yelled at) him to go as Bels' backup... and "date". Apparently, Roland had an even stronger taste for women who were taken rather than single. The thrill of the chase, or some bullshit like that.

Jackass.

Because of that, Squalo had to travel to England with _Belphegor_ of all people, wear an uncomfortable suit to an undoubtedly boring party while he watches his "date" (who was actually an insane little boy dressed in drag) seduce some moronic womanizer.

_'Great,'___Squalo thought, tilting his head back over the edge of the bed.

It was at this moment that Belphegor chose to burst out of the bathroom in all his glory, causing Squalo to sit up so quickly he got a head-rush. He took one annoyed look at Bel before his eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

Belphegor stood there in the deep purple empire waist dress that Lussaria had helped him pick out. The dress ended a few inches above his knees, showing off his long slim legs (and the dress was held up by fake breasts, Squalo noted). He had apparently refused to remove his bangs from his face or change his hair, and his tiara still resided upon his golden head, though.

The one thing Squalo noticed that he found most appalling though, was that Bel had hips that would put any girl to shame.

"Ushishishishi," Bel giggled "stop gawking like a moron and help the prince put on his shoes."

He thrust a pair of strappy black heels into Squalos' hands, sat down on the bed, and held his foot out expectantly.

Squalo _almost_ began to rant about how he didn't have to do a goddamn thing for Bel, but decided he didn't really have the energy to get in a fight with the little brat right now, (he figured he should conserve it for the party that would occur later in the evening) so he simply grunted and took hold of Bels' dainty foot.

He took his time fastening the little straps on the shoes, all the while observing Belphegor. He had always assumed Bel was small and slim, but he had never actually seen his body since it was almost always covered by his jacket or an oversized striped shirt. He now noticed that everything about Belphegors' body screamed female, from his tiny waist, to his small thin shoulders, to his long slim fingers.

_'Goddammit, how old is this kid anyways?'_ Squalo thought to himself _'I feel like a fucking pedophile.'_

"There, all done, brat," Squalo hissed, tossing Bels' legs off of his lap.

"Commoners should not speak to royalty that way, old man~~~" Bel grinned as he easily stood up and sashayed towards the kitchen with practiced ease, ignoring the look of offence that crossed Squalos' face.

_'Even if the kid looks good, he still has a god-awful personality,'_ Squalo thought, wrinkling his nose.

xXx

When Bel returned from the kitchen, a bag of chips in hand, Squalo had relocated himself onto the couch and was angrily flipping through the channels on their unnecessarily large television searching for something to watch.

Belphegor quietly (or as quietly as he could in high heels) made his way over to the silver haired man. As he arrived directly behind where Squalo was sitting on the couch, he leaned over and swiftly blew a cool stream of air into Squalos ear.

"Gah!" Squalo shrieked as he dropped the television remote. "What the hell was that for?" he demanded, and swung his head around to get a better look at the annoying prince; only to pull back a bit when he realized their faces were much too close for comfort.

"I'm booooored~~~" Bel whined "You insisted upon me getting ready, yet the party doesn't begin until lateeeeer~~~"

Belphegor hopped over the back of the couch, softly landing on it next to Squalo.

"It was just in case you needed more time to get ready," Squalo huffed, handing the remote control to Bel. "There's nothing good on."

"You were the one rushing me," Bel complained, pressing the button to open the T.V. guide (which Squalo cursed himself for not doing, as it would have been much easier).

"I was getting impatient."

Squalo reached for Bels' abandoned bag of chips (now residing on the coffee table in front of them) only to have his hand kicked away by Bels' high heeled foot.

"Vooooiiii, I gave you the remote, the least you could do is let me have some damn chips!"

"Shishishi, you _chose_ to give me the remote, and did so without discussing any terms. I owe you nothing, commoner."

Squalo growled and reached across Belphegor to retrieve the remote, only to have it yanked away as Bels' knee made contact with Squalos' chin.

"Oooowww, what the fuck, brat?!" Squalo demanded, pulling back and wincing. "Give me the goddamn remote!"

It was right about this time that Squalo took notice of just the way Bel was positioned on the couch. Bels' legs were spread slightly, the leg he kicked Squalo with rested on the couch while the other was still residing in its original position on the floor. His dress was riding up so that Squalo could almost see under it (Squalo vaguely wondered what kind of underwear the boy was wearing beneath the dress) and one of his arms rested on the arm of the couch propping up his torso as the other arm was busy shoving the remote down the back of the top half of his dress.

"Shishishi, fuck you."

That was all it took for Squalo to lunge across the couch and all but tackle Bel. His hands roamed Bels' back to retrieve the remote, as said prince arched his back out of discomfort. Bel attempted to push Squalo away, but Squalo was physically much stronger than Belphegor was. Squalo managed to grab the remote just in time to notice that they were far too close for his personal comfort. The lower half of his body was currently resting snugly between Bels' thighs, his hands down the back of Bels' dress as the boy arched into his chest.

All the blood in Squalos' body quickly rushed to his face and groin as he allowed himself to finally be pushed away by Bel, the forgotten remote still clutched in his hand.

Belphegor huffed angrily as he attempted to fix his clothes, casting the occasional unseen glare in Squalos' direction.

The silver haired man, however, was doing his best to calm his blood flow and heart rate.

_'Fuck'_ Squalo thought to himself as he took one last fleeting glance at Bels' mussed state, taking note of the fact that Bel was, in fact, wearing shorts under his dress.

xXx

The car ride to the Roland residence had been prosaic to say the least. Belphegor had spent the entire time chattering animatedly at Squalo about his last assassination job and how the victims' intestines looked when they had spilled out of his abdomen and onto the pavement (that and something about a circus. Squalo wasn't really listening).

Now as the car slowed in front of a grand Victorian style mansion, Squalo looked Bel up and down once more to be sure that he looked acceptable. A smirk graced his face for the first time since he left Italy.

"Voiii, you should stop grinning. It's unbecoming for a lady," he teased.

"I don't have to listen to a peasant like you. I'm a prince," Bels' grin grew.

"Stop referring to yourself as a man. Try to make your voice sound more... feminine"

Bel ignored his comment in favor of stepping out of the door that the driver had just opened.

"Brat," Squalo frowned

He could have sworn Bel muttered something about perverted old men.

His frown deepened.

With a role of his eyes, he climbed out of the car and straightened his suit before offering his arm out to Belphegor, who immediately wrapped his own slim arm around it.

"Ushishishi, ready _darling_?" Belphegor cooed; his perfect smile shining even in the fading sunlight.

"Ladies first, _honey_," Squalo sneered.

Bel stomped on Squalos' foot with one of his high heels, then promptly began to make his way to the Roland residence, a slightly limping and softly cursing Squalo in tow.

xXx

AN: Ok, this is my very first attempt at a chaptered fic, & with my laziness & school about to start up again, I don't know when I'll get the next chapter out, but I'll try to do it as soon as possible. If people like it & review, though, it might prompt me to update faster. :D So basically, review, & tell me if you like.~~~


	2. Chapter 2

Squalo carefully observed the large ballroom he and Belphegor had entered just moments ago, searching through the throngs of people laughing, talking, dancing, and admiring the ornate decor reminiscent of the long dead Victorian era for a face that matched the one in the photo Xanxus had the decency to provide them.

He grumbled and rescanned the room once more, still unable to find Roland.

Bel paused next to him and tapped a heel against the floor. "Let's dance," he muttered, swiftly grabbing Squalos arm and guiding him to the dance floor.

"Why, Brat?" Squalo inquired, slightly taken aback at Bels sudden gentle demeanor.

Belphegor glared up at Squalo from underneath his fringe before leaning in and hissing "We are supposed to be a couple dumb bass. Besides, we would look weird just standing there and looking around."

"Oh, right," Squalo responded slowly, taking one of Bels slim hands into his own, and resting his other hand in what he deemed a 'safe zone'; at Bels hip bone.

Bel placed his free hand on Squalos shoulder and began to sway with the slow music that echoed through the lavishly decorated ballroom, denying Squalo the chance to lead.

"Voi, don't you know the man is supposed to lead," Squalo hissed through his teeth.

Bel smiled softly, a drastic change from his usual face splitting grin, and responded in an equally hushed tone pushed through painted lips. "I am a prince, and the prince always leads. Common folk should know their place. In fact, you ought to be honored I'm even allowing filth like you so close to me."

"Big words for a boy in a dress," Squalo smiled, trying to maintain the appearance of a happy couple. Squalo knew very well he could overpower Bel and take the lead if he really wanted, but that would only bring more attention to them; as if they weren't already conspicuous enough.

They had to blend in as best they could; at least until they could find Roland.

After several minutes of Belphegor dragging Squalo around the dance floor and quietly complaining about Squalos lack of dancing skills, Bel discreetly motioned toward the side of the room, where several ornately decorated tables where located. "Over there," he whispered.

Squalo turned his head to look, only to receive a quick jerk from Bel. "Don't turn around, dipshit."

"Why the fuck not?" Squalo growled.

Bel merely snickered as he turned, allowing Squalo to see (in a _far_ more discreet way, Bel insisted) a man with over gelled brown hair and dulled green eyes carrying a look of hostility, whose appearance matched that of the man in the picture, talking with a girl with long brown hair, who looked quite unhappy to be there.

As the song stopped, so did Bel. He took Squalos hand and made his way over to the area of the room Roland was occupying, intent on striking up a conversation with the man.

_'Here we go,'_ Squalo thought bitterly.

His grip on Bels hand tightened instinctively.

Belphegor just smirked.

xXx

Squalo drummed his fingers against the table top impatiently.

Alright, now he was pissed.

He had been listening to Bel talk with Roland for two hours.

Two mother fucking _hours_.

If Squalo wasn't aggravated before, he sure as hell was now. Belphegor and Roland had been talking (and flirting, quite shamelessly, considering the fact that Squalo was supposed to be Bels 'date') nonstop since he and Squalo sat down with the jackass (because apparently Bel could hold a normal, functioning conversation without ranting about royalty or murder, and he did so in a surprisingly feminine voice). Squalo had barely gotten two words into the conversation, and the girl Roland had been talking to before (who was still sitting there, impatiently) had not said a single thing.

The small girl sat there, looking almost as pissed as Squalo felt, and her blue-gray eyes kept shifting between glaring at Bel (who didn't seem to notice in the slightest) and staring at Squalo with a look that resembled compassion (though Squalo wasn't sure, as he was not accustomed to seeing such an expression on peoples faces).

Squalo drummed his fingers against the edge of his seat before taking a quick gulp of a drink he had managed to grab from the open bar as soon as Belphegor had let loose his arm.

Thank god for that.

When he lowered his drink, he disdainfully noticed the retreating forms of Roland and Bel making their way to the dance floor. His lips quirked, however, when he saw a subtle twitch of Bels fingers, something that, as far as Squalo learned in his years with Belphegor, only happened when the boy felt the need to take hold of his knifes and kill someone. It made him feel a bit lighter to know that Bel wasn't enjoying this either.

"Clarissa."

Squalo jerked his head around to face the brunette girl who had apparently just spoken to him, noticing that she had moved a couple seats over so she could sit next to him. He quietly damned himself for getting so distracted he had not noticed her move.

"Uhm, excuse me?" he replied hesitantly.

"My name," she said with slight irritation. "What's yours?"

"Squalo," he replied, attempting to keep one eye on Bel and the other on the girl who deemed herself Clarissa.

"Ah, that's Italian, right? You have an Italian accent," she probed, flipping a long curl over her shoulder.

"Hm," Squalo muttered, silently cursing Bel for having a perfect British accent. Yet another thing to hate the brat about.

A long silence settled and his gaze drifted to Bel. Rolands hand was currently resting comfortably beneath Bels hip bone. Definitely not in the safe-zone. Squalo watched them sway slowly and soft smile spread across Bels face at something Roland said. Other dancers cleared the way for the two and Squalo could see the men casting appreciative stares at Bel (which Squalo found a bit funny, seeing as Bel was in fact a _boy_. Not that he was really in any position to judge those men). Roland raised his hand to Bels face to attempt to brush his bangs away to see his eyes, but Bel snatched his hand back, giggled and whispered something in his ear.

"You know, he never sleeps with a woman the first time he meets her."

Squalos attention was brought back to Clarissa, who's full pink lips formed a tight smile.

"He likes to think himself a gentleman to wait until the second or third time he sees her," she sneered, swirling her own glass of wine in her hand.

"And how would you know all this? Who are you anyway?" Squalo demanded. He wasn't quite sure if this girl was clever or an idiot, a confusing personality trait that he detested. Belphegor often aggravated him in the very same way.

"I'm Christophers wife, of course," she said, lifting her left hand to show off an impressive diamond ring.

An idiot. Definitely an idiot.

Squalo turned to face her for the first time, losing track of Belphegor and Roland as they were swallowed back into the crowd.

"If you are his wife, why do you knowingly let him cheat on you?" he grunted, not particularly interested in her answer, but bored enough to ask anyway.

"Why do you let your girlfriend go off with another man? Unless you're _trying_ to get him to fuck her."

Squalo snorted. "Voi, why would I do that?" Clarissa didn't seem particularly clever to him, but perhaps she knew something useful.

Confusion and suspicion passed through her eyes, then disappeared as suddenly as they came.

"You know, money, favors, those kinds of things. But enough of this talk," Clarissa stretched her arms, and a cheerful smile crossed her face. "It's getting a bit late and I have business to take care of early tomorrow."

"Hn," Squalo snorted. The girl was more annoying then useful anyways, Squalo decided.

Clarissa rolled her shoulders back, peered out into the crowd, and with an exaggerated gesture swallowed all the wine remaining in her glass. With a healthy flush over her cheeks, she leaned into Squalo, wrapped her arms around him, pressed her cheek to his, and giggled drunkenly.

Squalo _almost_ pushed her away in disgust, and he wouldn't have hesitated to do so, if it weren't for the fact that as soon as she grabbed him Squalo could clearly see both Roland and Belphegor much nearer then they had been before.

He could also see the thinly masked anger in Rolands eyes.

In a moment, Roland had cut his dance with Bel short and was standing directly in front of Squalo and Clarissa, his brows knit in irritation.

"Come now," he said to Clarissa, removing her arms from around Squalos neck, "I think it's time you went to bed."

Clarissa only nodded to him and let him pull her up, casting a knowing little smile in Squalos direction.

Roland turned to Bel. "I apologize, but I must see her to her room, and it might take a bit. In case I don't get back very soon, I would like to tell you that I'm having a little get together here in a few days, and I would be delighted if you were to show up."

"Oh?" Bel smiled.

Squalo huffed impatiently in his seat as Belphegor provided Roland with contact information (which was really only the number of a disposable cell phone and a fake name) and explained how he and Squalo really _ought _to be going and how it was such a _pleasure_ to meet him. Roland kissed Belphegors hand, nodded his head at Squalo, then promptly directed his wife away, who was giggling with a charming practiced drunkenness.

When the two faded from sight, Bel swiftly moved around the table and kicked Squalo hard in the shin.

"Fuck," Squalo growled at Bel.

Belphegor leaned in close to Squalo, so no one else in the room could see his face, and let his trademark grin out, revealing two rows of sharp, shiny teeth.

"Shishishi," he giggled "Get up, we're leaving."

xXx

Upon returning to their hotel room, Belphegor wasted no time in removing his female attire and disappearing into the shower with the intent of washing the 'stupid old man' off of him, as he deemed it.

_'Well that was painfully boring'_ Squalo sulked as he removed his suit jacket and flopped onto his makeshift bed, which was in actuality only the couch with a blanket tossed over it.

Finally laying down he was able to take note of the dull throbbing pain that had begun to spread from his temples to the rest of his head. He growled, deciding sleep was preferable to arguing with Belphegor for the remainder of the night and developing a migraine.

He would have plenty of time for that in the future, as they would be there at least a few more days before being able to meet with Roland again.

_'Great,'_ Squalo complained to himself, getting up and removing his shirt and shoes. After tossing his clothes in the direction of his luggage bag, he quietly made his way to the bathroom, in hopes that he could brush his teeth quickly and quietly enough for Bel to not notice.

The door was open slightly, and Squalo gently pushed it back and made his way into the steam-filled bathroom, thanking God that Bel had the decency to use the shower curtain. Squalo grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and began to wipe clean a section of the fogged over mirror.

He heard a soft rustle in the shower curtain, and almost immediately, jerked his head back from a tiny flying bottle of shampoo that had been aimed for his face, only to be nailed with a tiny bottle of conditioner the next instant.

"Voooi, what the fuck??" Squalo yelled, holding his cheek offendedly where the small hygiene product had made contact.

"Ushishishi, commoner, I did not give you permission to enter."

Squalo glared at Bel, who had pushed back the shower curtain and now stood in open view, gloriously wet and naked.

Bel frowned, obviously aggravated by the fact that Squalo was not longer listening, and took the opportunity to throw anything within reach at Squalos head, including a bar of soap, a disposable razor, and a luffa colored to match the hotel decor until Squalo was able to gather his wits and make a hasty retreat, toothbrush still in hand.

Squalo grumbled as he was forced to brush his teeth at the small sink in the kitchen, before making his way to the couch and climbing under the blanket.

He decided it would probably be best not to fall asleep while Bel was still up and about, lest Bel decide to perform some horrible 'prank', so Squalo closed his eyes and feigned sleep, monitoring Bels movements by ear.

He heard Belphegors bare feet pattering about as he moved around, pausing here and there to get something or put something away. If Bel knew Squalo was still awake, he gave no indication of it.

Finally, Bel settled down, taking the remote from the coffee table near Squalo and turning the on the television before retreating to bed.

Squalo let out a silent sigh of relief that Bel hadn't bothered him. Apparently the boy did have some civility, at least enough to let someone alone when they were 'asleep'.

Squalo finally relaxed and let himself drift off to sleep, confident that Belphegor, laying in the bed, was far enough from him that he would definitely hear him coming if he did change his mind and decide to bother him during the night.

In his last moments of consciousness, though, he could have sworn he heard Bel whisper into his ear a soft but unnerving "Goodnight".

xXx

AN:

...Ok, so that only took... a year. D: I'm horrible with this, I'm sorry. *Sigh* I'm afraid there isn't enough Squabble in this chapter, but next chapter will have more, promise. :D And yes, I will get the next chapter out, hopefully soon. Oh, and yes, I know we all hate OCs, so I'm going to try my best to keep Christopher and his wife from having a bigger part in this story then necessary.

And thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. It made me smile every time I got one. :D I never thought this story would be so popular. Thank you my lovely reviewers and subscribers and readers.

Unless I die, there will be another chapter. Promise. :D

And review, because I'll love you. :)


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